bowlogna
by Jeff Franzoli
Uomo I fucking love the Bologna Bowl. Built by the guys of Dreamland, same guys that built Burnside. They came over to Bologns and built the ‘Elbo’-Park.
WTF does ‘Elbo’ mean anyway? Like Elbow? Like it’s like a park for elbows? Elbo sounds retarded like it’s a facility for people with physical handicaps. Like my elbow is all crooked and shit. Well, I guess that’s just an opinion. Anywhose… that park is fucking rad.
I mean its just like you know…Gnarly dude, transitions and shit. I mean skating that thing isn’t just a sport thing. It’s a way of life. It’s just like looking at that bowl and saying:
‘Hey bud lets Party!’
No seriously Bologns is one sweet setup. Ten foot bowl connected with two other
bowls, cradle, bigass bank and a fullpipe. Shit’s rad. This guy Daniel Cardone kills it. Locals are totally cool. Hey, we even slept in that fucker. You’re not supposed to cos Matteo the owner ‘s a tweaker and will kill you. So we didn’t know cos he wasn’t there the first day eigh? So it’s a fiesta apierto for everyone right? Everyone’s crakin brews, smoking tasty buds and shredding that sweet bologna fucker like there’s no tomorrow.
And the night we didn’t have no connections. I mean no place to crash! So we just slept in the fullpipe, fuckin’ with our sleeping bags and a sweet case of Perons to our side. Chez and Jamie were getting ripped, smashing bottles. Dude if I’d known that Matteos such a whacko I’d probably not slept in there, smashing brews and being all loud and shit.
So next day its like a totally different scenario. Matteo is there you know and he’s just not having it. Like he’s not really into us, comprende? So I’m like ‘Hey Bud, is it cool if we just chill here till it stops raining? Cos meanwhile it started raining. But Matteo’s all like:
’Nah, Dude you gotta go.’ So I’m like thinking…cos you don’t want to talk shit straight into homeboys face right? So I’m thinking like ‘What’s you problem bud!?’ First we’re like sharing brews and smoking chens and now he’s all like being the stronz. So me and the crew are like fuck this. Let’s get outta here. But its fuckin raining like balls. No place to chill at all.
But you know us. We’re all bout having a good time, having a ‘Prde’ right? So we find this awesome old school bar place. These hella rad, hella old Tuscan dudes are playing bocce ball. It’s like fuckin bocce ball heaven and were crackin brews and talking shit into the camera. Like I was doing this CNN imitation thing. Like I’m a CNN anchor man dude or something.
So funny. So after a while it’s still raining so we’re like ‘Fuck it’. Just slept on these covered picknick table things which ended up being totally legit. I mean those things were hella comfortable and shit. Only thing was there’s like shit loads of shady dudes in that area.
And the next day Jamie’s like: ‘Dude this sketchy looking dude was checking you out’, like standing right over me and shit.
Hellasketchy dude, I’d fuckin kicked his teeth in if I’d woke up. But there’s a campsite there too for cheap. I recommend it as much as I recommend the Bologna Bowl.
I mean, if your into having a good time with your bros, skating and cruising tasty bowls like there the Bologns one, then Bologna is for you.
