san francisco
by Mario Dugo
“….yes, San Francisco, arguably the most civilized and beautiful city in all of California. With its mystical beaches, pristine parks, flawless skyline, prominentartistic community, and the ever-dominant presence of the Golden Gate Bridge, it is no wonder why San Francisco attracts so many tourists from all over the world. Despite all its glory, it should come then as no surprise that American sightseers have recently begun avoiding this place like the plague…and those that do come from the safety of the cornfields that constitute the Midwest to enjoy their hard earned vacation time leave in a state of shock and horror, vowing never to return. And who is gonna miss them? No one, probably. San Francisco’s tolerance of sketchy behavior is no secret, and those who come expecting anything else are most definitely delusional. These poor souls innocently stumble on the fact that despite all its “wonderful” attributes, Golden State’s most beloved and aesthetic city is the center of all its degeneracy, which of course, is a uniquely wonderful attribute in itself. And when considering traditional outlets of depravity and indecency in California; places such as West Hollywood, Lancaster, various regions of the San Fernando Valley, and the notorious Inland Empire, you realize the magnitude of this realization or, more appropriately, stated fact. Yes, that shockingly large commune of bums in front of City Hall isn’t leaving anytime soon. Yes, that is hardcore, deviant porn the crusty old man is watching courtesy of the Public Library computer, and yes, that gorgeous girl walking down the street is in fact, a dude. Now there is one day out of the year when all this decadence and outlandish behavior is celebrated, and that night is, of course, Halloween. The residential district that is comprised of the majority of San Franciscos’ gay community lets loose and throws a party that rivals both Mardi Gras and Carnival. A night where everyone is invited, regardless of gender (or lack there of) and sexual orientation, to a night of revelry and indecency. While being a product of both extensive planning(the temporary closing of city streets) and spontaneous celebration(girls flashing the “goods”), this event turns out to be one of deep paradox, and the annual, innovative event has now become the focal point of much year-round argument and debate within city limits. So much so, in fact, that in recent years local government officials have expressed their desire to end the city-sponsored event in the name of public safety and civic dignity. But that’s not happening anytime soon, not in a city like San Francisco. And please don’t correlate Halloween in this place with flamboyant homosexuality or anything else the that usually draws a frown on mainstream America. It is a celebration of individuality and self-expression – in short, America at its finest. Beautiful, scantily clad college girls and beer-bong wielding frat boys line the complete spectrum of human existence that is represented on this one, glorious night. When debauchery fueled by alcohol and drugs being consumed on a manic level is combined with an underlying feeling of sexual repression, a wonderful, magical thing happens. A force is created that cannot be suppressed, because it is a force that dwells within each of us, regardless of how much sex is being had. And despite all its faults, it is San Francisco that not only acts as a refuge for those who seek haven from those who oppress these most basic of human qualities, but it is this city that embodies our newfound image for the 21st century – one where human decency and the subsequent conformity that it brings is abandoned, and decadent, self-righteous behavior is not only accepted, but celebrated. And so we are able to rest easy knowing that in the end this is what America, The land of political correctness and deep paradox, is all about – The acknowledgement of the individual while providing opportunity and the means to release the untapped potential that lies within, regardless of who it offends.”